The naturopathic benefits of Pop Tarts

Posted on May 29, 2011


My loving life partner and I went to the naturopath on Friday morning.  Between us, we paid $450 for the privilege.  Smart investment?  Read on…

The naturopath is uses a prick – sorry, a pricker thing to draw blood from your left and right index fingers.  He then puts it under a microscope and reads your physiological fortune*.

This is what my blood looked like.

I learned that I have a virus (thank YOU, flu vaccine that didn’t work); and that I am still deficient in iron, vitamin B, D and C, magnesium and that my hormones are imbalanced.  This may or may not explain why I am constantly tired and recently have been known to morph into The Psycho Emotional Crazy Beast of Rage and All Powerful Irrationality (TPECBRAPI).

When the naturopath asked me if I had been unusually moody lately, Callum thought I couldn’t see him nodding vigorously out the corner of my eye.  It sparked TPECBRAPI aaaand let’s just say hormones won the day.

Callum, on the other hand, had a range of different problems that largely to do with his having the same virus after an impressive streak of shingles, glandular fever and just about every other virus under the sun.  He also has a flora imbalance in his gut.  No more ‘margarine’ for him.

So after we had made this hefty investment into our health and wellbeing, I was surprised (to say the least) when I discovered later that week that Callum had been eating S’mores flavoured Pop Tarts for breakfast ever since.

A Pop Tart is 200 calories of sugar and artificial flavourings squished into a rectangular shape that can be microwaved or toasted.  S’mores – for the Australians out there – are an American treat that involves two biscuits layered with marshmallow and chocolate in between.  A truly nutritious way to start the day.

His defence was ‘I was just getting a bit sick of Cheerios’.

The irony of it all is that he, with his belly full of Pop Tarts, is now fully recovered while I am now on day eight of the same virus and still feeling terrible.

Best $450 we ever spent.

Yours naturopathically,


*I have been seeing this naturopath since July last year.  Despite me having to take out a large personal loan to fund my visits, the fact that I feel so much better than I did previously makes me feel like a little girl at a fair when I get to see him.

**By Pop Tarts, I mean a few celery sticks and a protein shake..